Interview with little dickie (my personally collared slave): Creating a Successful Close D/s Relationship While Gaining Personal Growth and Learning

The D/s relationship that I have with dickie has been one of the most unpredictable and fulfilling ones I’ve ever experienced. It really taught me how little I knew about how deep and diverse D/s relationships can be. If it weren’t for kink, I probably would not have the good fortune of knowing and appreciating the many beautiful souls who have touched my life over the years. Kink and BDSM is a huge bonding element in most of my friendships. It is because kink cuts though all the superficial facades and straight to a soul connection. It gets real and deep, real fast.  

I believe that my respect for dickie’s feelings elevated how he sees me as a domme. He says it makes him much more submissive to me because he feels like I care about him, and he has more trust in me. The important thing to remember is that there is an important distinction between being a domme and being a bully. A bully doesn’t care about the other person’s feelings. My willingness to evaluate and talk about Dickie’s feelings doesn’t detract at all from our DS relationship. It makes it stronger because he feels much more comfortable and safe being submissive to me. Being submissive doesn’t mean they want to be invisible. All subs want to be seen and understood. And to be submissive requires an enormous amount of trust in the domme.

The amount of personal growth and learning that I have gained through my relationships with all my personal slaves, has been exponential. The process of working things out with them has helped me keep my ego in check and taught me a lot about how to be a good person, and in turn, a good Domme.  I am in the elevated position in the D/s relationship, but I am not a better person. When I have been in the wrong, and apologized for hurting my slaves’ feelings, humbling myself in this way and showing that I care makes my slaves respect me even more than before.  

Underneath our D/s relationships, the foundation of friendship is always there. Real friendship and caring for one another as people has to be there, otherwise the relationship is not sustainable. This goes for all relationships. But the difference in D/s is that the understanding and quality of deference and respect from slave to Mistress is always there, in and out of scene. That’s what sets it apart from vanilla relationships and makes it magical.

It is my adamant belief that when a D/s relationship has a high level of respect, commitment and communication from both parties, success, closeness and happiness is guaranteed.

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