Unethical Financial Domination or “FinDom” is not to be confused with traditional Female Domination, or “FemDom,” which is a practice under the umbrella of BDSM arts. My intention behind this statement is not to call out or shame anyone, rather to provide information that may benefit players on both sides. The confusion stems from the rampant explosion of so-called "FinDommes" or "Financial Dominatrices," who have appropriated the terms Dominatrixes, Dommes, Mistresses—titles that should be reserved for those who have earned them through the investment of finances, time and study of FemDom and BDSM. Those who are solely practicing findom should not be confused with the latter. Real, traditional FemDom is in danger of becoming a lost art, as online kink culture and community is being drowned in the hundreds of outward-facing demands for cash.
Consent doesn’t mean a thing when the play is not ethical. When a findomme (a financial dominatrix) irresponsibly takes money from a consenting finsub whose addiction is negatively affecting his financial, mental and psychological health, social life, and overall quality of life, it is wrong, and it is unethical. The finsub is not actually a sub, but a victim of abuse.
BDSM is a power exchange dynamic built upon the foundation of consent, trust, connection and mutual respect. Other activities that comprise of the exploitation of others for selfish gain while having disregard their feelings and well-being are NOT BDSM. They are forms of abuse and thievery used by those findommes who prey upon addicts of financial domination, exploiting their weakness for the it, knowing that they are prone to relapse.
CLARIFICATION: I am not stating that financial domination as a legitimate kink cannot be done safely within the privacy of a healthy D/s relationship — it most definitely can. The determination of “healthy” is contingent upon the Domme’s intent and the sub’s state of mind. If the Domme is well-meaning, plays within responsible limits, truly cares about the sub’s emotional, psychological and financial well-being, and has established a trusting relationship with them, this kink can be played out safely. But if the sub is in an unhealthy or imbalanced mental and psychological state of mind, suffering from low-self-esteem, low self-worth, self-loathing, feels unloved or inadequate, they may turn to findom as a self-destructive way to act out and project their inner pain toward an erotic direction. It is the Domme’s moral and ethical responsibility not to prey upon those subs, even with given consent.
If you are a well-meaning FinDomme who seeks to develop your Domme practice beyond those confines into a richer, more fulfilling, broader-scoped one, seek out reputable FemDom and BDSM educators and mentors who can guide you along your path. If you are interested in studying with me, I invite you to apply to The Evolutionary Dominatrix™ Academy. It is my passion and honor to pass down this beloved craft to future generations of Dommes who embrace all the beautiful complexities of Conscious BDSM and Conscious FemDom.
CLICK HERE to see a recording of my live lecture at DomConLA, “Ethical and Moral Responsibility as a Dominant,” as well as a playlist of my interviews.
